Scary?

Do you like to be scared? Do you like to go to haunted trails, house, or caves? Well, our family does not. But this weekend, my daughter's BF had his bday party at Kings Island's Fearfest. She tried to tell him that she hates that stuff, but she went anyway because she did not want to bail on him. When we got there, there were creatures milling around, like in the movie Halloweentown (Disney). She was not thrilled. The rest of the kids headed out to a trail or train or something and she dug her heels in and stayed with me and BF's Mom (I helped drive kids to and from KI).

She watched a show with us and we walked around being screamed out by creatures and it really freaked her out. I tried not to make eye contact, but this kind of evening is just not what we ever do or what we enjoy. It upset BF some, but he was warned.

So the the next day, BF was with us and tried to talk to my daughter about this. Apparently his mother told him that daughter was very immature in her actions because she didn't go off with them and try to have fun. She also told him that she is too attached to me and that daughter needs to grow up and BF shouldn't hang out with her anymore because she stresses him out too much.

Well this has ticked me off. I have honestly tried to get daughter to go out and do things on her own. She hardly won't. Not everyone is into scary things. Maybe she is too attached to me, but I don't mind it. I love knowing what is going on with her and her friends and I love that she can talk to be about everything. I do agree that she stress about things and worries about things too much, though. I have tried to tell her that boyfriends and situations will work out, but it's hard for a 15-year-old to hear that. Daughter won't hardly go over to a friend's house unless she really gets to know them and she hasn't spent the night with anyone in a very long time. It really upsets me that this mom is a)trying to tell her kid who his friends should be and b) that she is kind of taking shots at my husband and my parenting skills. I have raised my daughter this best I can and I know she doesn't lie and she isn't deceitful. I know for a fact that this parent's kid has been lying about things to her for months, but I don't feel it is my place to interfere. I will not do that to him. But she isn't the person I thought she was.

Does anyone else have an opinion on this?

Know your Child

Today I dropped my 9th grader off early for band camp. She is scared and tired and not quite sure she is ready for this. Last night she had one of her major mental breakdowns. As some background, the Auxillary girls spent the night before making their tassels and going TP-ing. That's another story.

The 9th grader apparently, being crafty as she is, made her tassels in record time. She was telling me how impressed the senior of the group was and that she now holds the record for how long it takes. I am sure we will be making lots of tassels as the years go by, so she will have to explain that to me later. But the girls stayed up way past her bed time and last night I saw the result of that. She is the type of person who doesn't like the unknown. She wants to know exactly what we are doing, when we are doing it, and and don't give her any of this "You'll love band camp. You will have such a great time!" She didn't care about that at 11 PM at night, with less than 7 hours of sleep. She didn't know what she wants but she was sure she doesn't want to go to band camp. She wants to stay home in the comfort of her bedroom and cry. I love being a mom, don't you?

Anyway, I went to find her schedule to help show her exactly what she was going to be doing when, and give her time to calm down. Dad wanted to help, but his words of encouragement were to say the least, not very encouraging to a 15-year old girl dealing with emotions and sleep depravation. Bless his heart, he tries.

When I get back, I find the 9th grader packing a few more things, and she tells me that when they are seniors, they will do this and this and this. I hugged her and said, "See you are already planning for the future." She smiled and said, "I know." The best part is that she will be with her best friend, and she can make stronger bonds with the other girls and boys.

This morning, I told her best friend, that she had a mental breakdown last night and he had to be extra nice to her this week. "I'm always nice to her," was his response. (I am rolling my eyes at this comment.) He's almost 15, what does he know? This morning I stood around and talked for a few minutes and the 9th grader finally told me I could leave. So I hug her, tell her and the best friend to be good and that I will see the tomorrow evening. Then I turn and walk to my vehicle. I know she is in good hands and I will be out there tomorrow evening, spending the night and probably chaperoning the 9th graders as the prank the seniors and the director. But, that will be for another time.